I have so much to say. The thoughts have been brewing for so long, that I’m at a complete loss of where to begin. So I will begin at the beginning.
In 2021, I was going through a divorce. In October I finalized the purchase of my home and moved in. I had made a promise to myself that the first morning I woke up in my new home, I was going to immediately return to all of my healthy habits. Morning workouts, healthy eating, meditation. The morning came and I got out of bed. I put on workout gear and started off doing a home workout. I made sure to eat a healthy breakfast and did my meditation.
By the end of the year I was back to my pre divorce slim look. Not completely shredded but I was completely satisfied with how I was looking and feeling. In January I took advantage of gym specials and joined Anytime Fitness. In February I did my first ever budoir shoot. It was a life changing experience. I really saw myself in a completely different light.
At this point I was a single lady. I had completely given up on the idea of saving the marriage and was embracing that single life…maybe a little too much. There was a lot of nights out, a lot of dinner with friends, a lot of alcohol, and a lot of nights with too little sleep. I started gaining weight and I said, “Ope, I better dial it back in.”
So I started staying home more and drinking less. I gained more weight. I started loosely tracking my food and making sure I was driniking enough water. I gained more weight. I stopped going out entirely, the only exception was family gatherings in the summer. Around this time, I adopted a dog. He and I fell into a routine that had me going to bed at 8:30 p.m. and waking up at 4:30 a.m. because that is just what worked best for us. I would be at the gym by 5 a.m. and Buddy and I would do an hour worth of meditation and breathing together when I got home. I was feeling great mentally, but I was gaining more weight.
Realizing that I had done everything that I know to do, I finally sought medical advice. I thought I had a doctor that was on the same page as me. She said she wasn’t the doctor that would prescribe weight loss drugs but instead she would help me find the cause of the issue. Perfect! We checked all the big scaries. There were no signs of diabetes or pre diabetes. Thyroid seemed to be functioning just fine. My vitamin D was super low (hello Wisconsin and working in a dark room all day). Other than that, all was well. The doctor said it must be stress, but didn’t want to test for cortisol levels because “it’s very difficult”.
Around this same time, I was having some other pain issues. My doctor referred me out to an OBGYN that was phenomenal. She asked me so many questions that took me by surprise. You would think after being a woman for my entire life, I would have had a better understanding of female reproductive issues and their symptoms. But honestly, I feel failed by the medical system. For more years than I could count, I struggled with symptoms that I was told were normal, or nothing to be concerned about among other platitudes to make me feel that the problem was just me being crazy. This woman did none of that, and for a change I felt relief that someone heard me.
The decision was made to do a uterine ablation in hopes that this would eliminate some, if not all, of my discomfort. Through this process, I gained more weight. Understandable But disappointing. As soon as I was able to get back into the gym, I was there. And still, I was unable to lose weight, even if I wasn’t gaining. At this point, I was really starting to feel like it was a losing battle.
Can anyone relate to this?
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