I feel like these posts are becoming repetitive and redundant. At this point every day is kind of the same. The hard part of starting this is long past, the withdrawals just a memory. I don't even think about certain foods anymore. I eat the same thing, with the same sauces,. The snacks are the same and I still miss the crunch.
I don't know what is going on with my body. I feel thick. My My workout clothes are feeling uncomfortably tight. My legs feel heavy and stiff. Yesterday I laid in my sauna blanket and tried to get my body to relax and maybe release some of ..whatever it's holding onto. Yesterday I did a light mobility workout...nothing else feels okay. I feel stuck. Today (Sunday) Jared only worked a half a day and the plan was to go to the gym when he got home. I am feeling very unmotivated but I know that I need to go.
Through all of this, I just keep feeling like this eating plan isn't working. I feel fatter and somehow less muscular. It's disturbing and depressing. I can't wait to get my hormones tested but it seems so far off. I am kicking myself for not making an appointment sooner, but I thought I could just figure this out on my own. Calories in, calories out...that's what they say, right?
To be honest, I have always said that sometimes there is more to it than that. Inflammation in the body can cause extra pounds on the scale and cause the body to look puffier/fatter. So quality of food does matter over a period of time. The more processed and sugary foods you eat, the more inflammation in your body. That's really why I chose to do this round of Whole30. It's weird to be so disappointed that this hasn't helped me at all, at the same time I feel somewhat vindicated that I wasn't really eating that terribly. I have room to improve, but my eating habits aren't a major contributor to how I am feeling and what is going on in my body. This is one more piece of data for my next doctor.
Knowing that this isn't working makes it really hard to continue. If it weren't for Jared, I would have totally quit a couple days ago, but he wants to finish it. I think I said it before, he is down for a challenge and he loves to succeed. So here I sit, dreaming of a slice of pizza and some cheesecake. Weird combo, I know.
On a positive note, I made ice cream. I used two bananas, frozen strawberries and blueberries, coconut milk and a splash of vanilla. The consistency was so perfect. Jared was impatient so I didn't let it sit in the freezer for quite as long as it should have, but otherwise, it was creamy and smooth and tasted just like ice cream.
So is this working for my sweet tooth..no. But I also said I had no intentions of giving up my little snack at night. It is the part of the day that we all love. Everyone gets a treat of their choice...even the dog. Frosty Paws are his favorite, although I am going to start making his ice cream too, because I believe tat every living thing deserves good quality food.
That's it. I'm going to bed and maybe tomorrow my attitude will be better.
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